


Truth lost in translation

by ScotCoyjedii



Series: Hobbiton x Dwarves [6]
Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Anger Management, F/M, Threats, a very angry Hobbit, fem!Bilbo, or lack of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-27
Updated: 2015-04-27
Packaged: 2018-03-25 23:51:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,181
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3829504
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ScotCoyjedii/pseuds/ScotCoyjedii
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bilbo never told anyone she was a girl now they know,not even Gandalf knew.<br/>Irritated with the company treating her different than they used to she flirts with her "rescuer" Gimli who has a heart of gold.<br/>sorry repeated lines. fixed.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Truth lost in translation

**Author's Note:**

> oh yes.  
> I regret writing this on my cell phone yet it turned out pretty good. I think so. Any one willing to beta read?

Thorin wasn't sure what to make of the boy before him it was obviously Gimli but he had this look in his eyes that says 'I don't care much for how I kill'. He was forbidden to join the quest!  
"Come on you ugly bastards! You want to fight those idiots or me?"  
"Gimli!"  
"Shut up stupid. I'm saving your life that you are so willing to throw away!" Gimli snarled at Fili he was afraid for us. I could see it.  
"Come at me you stupid orcs! Lucky number sixty one and sixty two coming up!"  
'Huh?'  
"That would be you then him." He motioned to Azog then his son Bolg.  
'Bastard you will pay for ...' Bolg never finished his sentence. Horrified as his own fathers head was cut clean off by Gimli's battleaxe his head rolling across the ice. Coming to a stop fifteen or so feet away.  
"Uruk hai are more of a challenge though that would be sixty one."  
Bolg got a axe Gimli's favorite axe with the long handle to the skull.  
"Sixty two."  
"You directly disobeyed your fathers..."  
"To save your sorry asses family is all we got now. Family and friends, I can't say that Dís will be happy if your allowed her sons to die."  
"But the elf..."  
"So are you going to court her of what?"  
"Gimli!"  
"What?"  
"Now isn't the time."  
"Perfect time, considering the battle is over basically when Beorn and the Eagles arrive."  
The eagles did arrive with Beorn.  
"How?"  
"Trade secret."  
"King Thorin by the way, if you succumb to greed again...I'll kill you myself." Gimli threatened his beloved cousin Thorin off handedly.  
"Where are you off too?"  
"Get off the damn ice before it breaks!"  
They did a clean up after battle of the bodies of orc and dwarf alike. Meanwhile Gloín was chewing out his beloved son a new one after all father knows best. Gloín was furious at his son disobeying his orders.  
"Are you even listening Gimli!!"  
"Where's Bilbo?"  
"What?"Gloín was taken aback by what his son said.  
"He participated in the battle or at least tried to."  
"Gimli where are you going? I'm not finished with you yet!"  
Gimli ran off to find the burglar who was likely wearing the evil One Ring the one he knew his friends would be sent on a quest to destroy. I think Gimli had a soft spot for Hobbit's which is why he continued the long called off search.  
'I was facing the ruins of Laketown, more specifically in a ditch.' He remembered hearing the elder Hobbit tell him when he visited in a another life.  
_I'm good at tracking as I am killin' orc's._ He thought to himself finding the unconscious Bilbo invisible.

  
  


Frodo once told him that to touch a hobbit's ear was not only a sensitive part of the body (and a very good way to wake a hobbit on the spot), but apparently very intimate between hobbit's. He had to touch him all over like some pat down which he found uncomfortable, finding his ears after a few moments his own ears were red in embarrassment. No response. He was very much alive working the evil ring off his finger making 'him' visible again. To my great shock "he" was actually a 'she' her breast's were ...eh bountiful to say the least. He turned a shade of red deeper his voice was lost to him, yes he occasionally slept with a rare dwarrowdam his (or near) his age but her shapely form was... thrilling. Were those socks? And bindings for her breasts? Both tossed aside or shredded.  
  
  
_So that's how you did it?_ Gimli thought. A nearby orc that was long dead probably tried to strip her, he got her shirt off and the mithril coat off. Before she buried Sting deeply into its own gut that it nearly went out the other side but seeing it as being a mere elven dagger the length stopped it.  
"Bella?"  
Where is her shirt?  
He found it but it was ripped to shreds. The Mithril coat would cover her for the moment while he put the evil ring in one of her pant pockets. Picking up her after he retrieved Sting from the orc's gut.  
He put the sword in its scabbard putting it on his own self as he ran her to the nearest tent of healing. That blow to her head didn't look good, she might have a few broken ribs too.  
"Gimli you found Bilbo!" Bofur sounded cheerful once again even though he was covered in orc blood and sweat along with his own blood. He probably was going to have a black eye tomorrow by the looks of it.  
"What's wrong?" Gloín demanded panicking for his son's sake, counting foes slain wasn't exactly common to Gloín it sounded like his son was losing his mind.  
I ignored them heading straight for the elves. When she woke up she told Gimli what happened he knew the story all too well.  
I came out of the tent grim. The company was waiting for me. I turned to King Thorin my own fury raging like a torrent ready and willing to fully unleash it on the king himself.  
"I hope you have one hell of an apology, you moron." I spat at the tired king. Shocking those within earshot and infuriating his father through my disrespect of the king.  
He caught his fathers hand poised to hit him a few inches away from actually doing so, rare was it that we did so. I was nonchalant in that I didn't care more inquisitive to the reason why but not caring for the moment.  
"None of you knew I guess. He is a she. Congratulations Thorin, you are now just above an orc _for that_." I snarled. "If she was a dwarf she would have either attempted to kill you or take whatever remained of your beard. Better than dwarves in that respect." I spat coldly.  
"Getting lectured by a dwarfling." Fíli sputtered.  
"I could have left you there to die. No if I was less than a dwarf, maybe, but I am not." I explained turning my head to Fíli softening to the nearly beardless dwarf. I regretted tormenting him and his brother over a lack of a full beard now endlessly, seeing them like that cornered like a dog. It changed everything. Family is all I have and I refused to watch them die _again_ when I could very well stop it this time around.  
"She's going to be okay right?" Bofur asked.  
"The elves say yes." I answered.  
"And you believed them?"my father wasn't exactly one for caring about elves anytime soon.  
"And we are back to square one." I groaned.  
"She wanted to see you next," Gimli walked away limping visibly in pain.

  
  


She was treated very different by the company 'like a lady should' while Gimli treated her normally. Creating very opinionated dwarrows as the healers said she would have to stay for another few months. To allow her body to heal itself.  
"I swear, Gimli, I used to get along fine until then."Bella told me.  
"I believe you Mistress Baggins."I stated stroking my beard absent mindedly in thought though I often didn't do that. I admit sometimes my beard did itch or tickle my skin but no self respecting dwarf would say that out loud. Not even me.  
"Why are they acting so strange?"She asked her brows furrowing, she must have an innocent mind to ask that.  
"Because you are a lady."  
"I would rather not get into my sex thank you."  
"Cousin Thorin like the others wish to court you."  
"Balin I can understand, Nori maybe. Thorin is a complete jerk and I take him as being disinterested in women entirely. Him being a typical majestic bastard with jerkass tendency don't help his image any either." Bella grunted. It was completely true I at one time asked him when I was thirteen if he was gay, my father was so embarrassed that he had to run away. Thráin turned red and Thorin, he sputtered while trying to answer a innocent minds question.  
Gimli broke into hard laughter.  
"You took him as being gay?"I laughed.  
"I think he _is_ gay no matter what he says." Bella said sharply, laughing with Gimli.  
"Yer alright." one of the snickering guards laughed.  
"The counsel wishes to speak to you." Gloín and Dwalin entered the room. They didn't approve of me befriending the hobbit.  
"Tell the counsel I do not simply come when asked to like some dog." She snapped at Dwalin like he was someone she never knew.  
"I am afraid your opinion matters not." they nearly got a Dagger to the face.  
"The next dwarf who orders me about will be the first one to feel my wrath. Mainly a dagger to the throat."  
"Get out. Not you Gimli."  
"Dáin will be hearing about this!"  
"Rot in mount doom for all I care."  
"Yer alright, burned." I chuckled as they left the tent in a huff. Sure as hell Dáin did hear about it and was far from pleased.  
"Should we mess with them?"  
"Oh god yes."  
"Here's the plan...." he whispered the rest into Bella's ear.  
They were both in a different tent but it didn't stop Dáin from falling into the good old prank, the same water filled bucket to the head.  
"Gimli!!!"  
"Oh god that was funny."  
"You have any Tookish pranks?"  
"Oh yes."  
Mousetrap filled floor while the person was away or asleep, glue traps work just as well or in a combination. Fake mouse wind up toy for those afraid of many mice.  
Stink bombs,itching powder and the classic pie to the face.  
All of which we did, except for Gloín who had a fear of rats and to make a point I set live rats in his room leaving him screaming like a little girl.  
"Cue itching powder."  
"Do you think we went too far?"  
"He's still alive ain't he?"  
"I'm going to kill who ever is responsible for this!"  
He saw the call card I left behind to mess with him.  
"BILBO!!!!!!!!" Gloín roared as we ran away.

  


"Itching powder?" Fili questioned as his uncle scratched unceasingly.  
"Again!!!?" Balin groaned.  
"I'm getting the vibe she no longer wishes to be around us."  
"What was your first clue?"  
"The fact now Gimli is her best friend likely with benefits."  
"I can't see it."

  


"Bella?" Thorin asked lightly.  
"What do you want from me?"  
"Nothing I just want to talk."  
"Talk is cheap, especially from the likes of you."  
"Huh?"  
"Still think your gay no matter how much you deny it."  
Thorin flinched. Good his ego is burnt terribly.  
"Why are you doing this?"  
"Because I don't like being treated atypically trying to make a point with you lot is like how much I know you want me in your bed. I'm no ones breeder rabbit ,I don't give a damn if my species has unusually high amounts of birth rates." She jabbed a finger at his chest accusingly.  
"Bells..."  
"Don't you dare! No one calls me that not since I lost my little brother! Get out now!" She forced him out of her room. Her 'brother' was a true dragon reduced to egg form once again after he was accidentally run through in Bree. Turned into a blood relative of the family of Bungo and Belladonna Baggins I through a ritual preformed by the wizard Gandalf to save the cute hatchling from starving to death. All after his mother died of wing rot and his father died of scale rot both of which never happened in Fire-Drakes that had hordes even those who had enough self control to refuse the urge. Were immune to both diseases true dragons were not inherently evil as these were different from your average dragons they were created by Yavanna and her husband Mahal brought to life by Eru Ilúvatar to combat the evil drakes. These creatures were inherently more powerful than their cousins not only because they had free will and could entirely suppress their greed, but at one time could be ridden effectively. 

  


Her brothers blue egg laid dormant for years but now as the gold and jewels is being sifted through he is awoken.

  


She refused to feel anything even if her heart burned no ached for them, no _him_ that blasted King Under the Mountain Thorin Oakenshield. Even now it burned hotter the closer she got to full recovery, then she was forced to stay when the full force of winter came. She caught another cold much to the other dwarves dismay.

  


"Bella hold still."  
"Go away."  
"Your fever isn't going down..."  
I don't remember the rest I simply let everything I held back stew together.

  


"Bella?"  
"Good her fever has come down."

She had slept with Thorin with no regrets and doesn't regret becoming his wife or that Bifur & Bofur found there Ones in the Shire.

**Author's Note:**

> I own nothing.


End file.
